Licence to (KG) Hypnobirth!

Look what arrived through the post this morning! : )

Contrary to what you some of you might think, the assessment for KG Hypnobirthing teacher training is actually extremely thorough and comprehensive.  

It is rooted in solid scientific knowledge and an in-depth understanding of the physiology of birth.  To read more about the science behind hypnobirthing you can read my Blogpost here

Since I now have personal experience of going through this particular KG Hypnobirthing training programme and assessment, I can verify it's high quality, and the  criteria that teachers must go through in order to qualify as a KG Hypnonbirthing teachers.  

Even as a qualified Midwife there were plenty of topics I had to refresh on and research in order to complete my assessment!

Next stop : Perinatal Yoga teacher training in December!

As part of my ongoing journey to support women in pregnancy&birth I will also be undertaking the full Perinatal pregnancy Yoga training with the wonderful Birthlight, so I look forward to sharing lots of interesting stuff re: Pregnancy and Yoga with you all soon! (I LOVE Learning : ))

Thanks to all of the lovely staff down at KG hypnobirthing for their positivity and support!

Here are the lovely comments/feedback I got from my assessment: 

Are we forcing fathers into the birthing room?

Do men bring drama to the birth room?

The ubiquitous Michel Odent famously, in his characteristically provocative fashion, once said that father’s should not be allowed into the birthing room.

The radical, french obstetrician, well known for his discourse on the medicalisation, ‘modernisation,’  and masculinisation of childbirth, is no stranger to causing a stir in the boho-maman-bébé circles.  However, unlike some of his other revolutionary ideas, this particular little nugget of wisdom didn’t quite seem to catch on.

Perhaps this was due to the fact that the childbirth Guru is, himself, a man and there was a subtle sense of irony in this implication that he was the only male fit to be present in the birth environment [At times we would be forgiven for thinking that Odent is actually a women, or some kind of born-again misandrist that woke up one day and found himself with a penis]. 

None-the-less, I am in fact a big fan of many of Odent's ideas, and his argument about men bringing unnecessary noise, drama, anxiety and adrenaline to the birthing room was rooted in, and cohesive with, his ideas about stress hormones, and the overstimulation of the ‘thinking’ brain, fundamentally inhibiting and disturbing the birth process.

We only have to look at the clip of Robbie Williams serenading his unimpressed wife, as she attempts to give birth to their baby, or watch a clip of One Born Every Minute, to see that the male presence in the birth room is not always helpful.

And whilst it doesn't necessarily follow that all men bring drama to the birth room, I can’t help but think that there is at least some element of truth, in Odent’s claims here.

The blurring of gender roles

Part of living in this, our post-modern times is the perpetual definition and re-definition of our gender roles. The current ‘trans’ debate, for instance is blurring the boundaries of what we see and think of as distinctively ‘male’ and ‘female’ roles.

Thus, this new-found fluidity, between what we once saw as typically male or female characteristics or tendencies; the mothering female: empathiser, carer, nurturer, Versus the He-man hunter gatherer figure: scientific, rational, material provider, perhaps goes part of the way to explain the wake of men busting into the birth room.

Historically, and anthropologically, we know that birth has been a traditionally female domain.  And the fact that most father’s in the UK now attend the birth should, rightly, be situated within it’s own historical and cultural context.

Whilst we have come to see this model as the norm here in the UK (93% of men are involved to some extent), it is in fact a relatively new, and culturally specific phenomenon.    

Dr Laura King, is a social historian at the University of Leeds, who completed her PhD in fatherhood in early modern Britain. She situates the rise of fathers accompanying their wives, from the 1950’s onwards, within the context of the movement of birth from the home to the hospital.                    

 « Away from the familiar surroundings of the home, women looked to a birthing partner for more moral support and men started to play an increasing role. »

The emergence of the 'modern man'

The ‘rise’ of the modern man presents us with a new, and curious creature, who frequently sees his ‘mate’ quite literally as his best pal, and decides to embark upon all that she does, and experiences, in a kind of symbiotic, mutual journey.

I have witnessed many a specimen of this new modern man: in touch with his emotions, embodying and embracing everything from hypnobirthing visualisations, “think of the lotus flower baby; open like a lotus flower,” to furrowing through the Bach flower remedies manual to find the best potion for his Missus’ present ailment.

But whilst many men are all too willing to get down and dirty with birth, there are still those who prefer to stay well away, maintaining that birth is a female domain. Some feel simply too squeemish about the whole gory process, whilst others are concerned about the impact that getting up-close and personal during birth will have on their future romantic relationship.

On both sides of the channel we have seen prominent male figures declare their distain for the male presence at birth.  The ever-outspoken Gordon Ramsey, cooked up a fuss when he publically, and unapologetically, announced that he did not attend the births of any of his four children.  Expressing particular concern over the repercussions this would have on his sex life he commented: 

“Seeing a woman in distress, screaming at the top of her voice, pushing, pushing, pushing, and sweat, sweat, sweat? I'd rather be stark bollock naked in a steam room with 50 vegans."

Across the channel, the prominent French Sailor Olivier de Kersauson was equally unapologetic when he declared: « birth is women’s business ; it is not men’s business.»  Being a french man, he chose to elaborate this belief by using the analogy of a roman temple, in which males and females are like columns: a certain amount of distance and separation must be maintained, for the continued stability and equilibrium of the whole....  

La maternité est une affaire de femme. Pas une affaire d'homme.  Dans les Ecritures, on présente l'enfant au père une semaine après l'accouchement. Les colonnes du temple, quand elles sont trop rapprochées, ne soutiennent rien. Un homme et une femme doivent être suffisamment séparés pour pouvoir soutenir quelque chose, une construction. [...] 

Whereas the above may well represent extreme examples, the British pregnancy advisory service estimates that one in 20 fathers still avoids being present when their partner gives birth.

Often chastised for being unsupportive, or selfish, should men who feel truly uncomfortable with the process, or that it is not their domain, be given a bit of slack?

Is birth still a female space?

There is also the bigger question of how useful Men actually are at what we traditionally consider female roles.  A Telegraph article last week highlighted the increasing number of women who are now choosing to have their Mother in Laws (‘MIL’s’) present at their birth.  This idea of an experienced female figure, who has had their own children, being well equipped to provide emotional support, is also the premise behind the rise of the Doulas.

Experienced doulas have often undergone several training courses and attended hundreds of births, and many have also had children of their own.  Such experience means that they can anticipate the needs of the labouring woman and provide reassurance and guidance. Can we really expect men, who have no previous experience, to do a crash course in birth support and meet these needs equally well?

And are we putting too much pressure on men to fulfil this role, which does not always come naturally to them?  Un-practised, and un-experienced, subject to their own anxieties about their own transition into parenthood, men now experience the additional social pressures of becoming birth and breastfeeding wizards in the space of 9 months.

Of course there will be some men who are very excited to embark upon this journey, and extremely dexterous at it.  But for those who aren’t so keen, should we be more lenient, and willing, to let them duck out? 

On several occasions I have heard of women being disappointed with the support they received from their partners during birth, wishing instead that they had chosen to have a more experienced and calming female figure supporting them during this emotionally and physically taxing time.  I cannot speculate on the impact this has on their relationships, but one would assume that that these feelings of dissatisfaction and inadequacy, feelings of letting-down or being let down by your loved one, during this important time,  pose potential negative consequences. 

Rad-dads, such as Dean Beaumont, author of the Expectant Dad’s handbook, equally adds that for those fathers that are keen to participate, health professionals need to do more to welcome and involve fathers, in order to enable Dads to feel more comfortable and willing, about their role in the birth room.

As with everything to do with childbirth, the matter ultimately boils down to personal choice. However, given that what we now assume as ‘the norm,’ is in fact only 60 years young, perhaps we should be more open and reflective upon the potential disadvantages, as well as advantages, of having fathers in the birthing room.  It cannot be assumed that the father attending the birth, is, necessarily, the best outcome for all couples.                                                                           Given that this is such a recent phenomenon in human history, we cannot yet say, with any conviction, what effect the presence of the father at birth will have on a whole range of social phenomena, including romantic and intimate relationships.

How to have the Midwifery X-factor: My 5 tips for Wannabe Midwives

I’ve had rather a lot of messages from newbie Midwife hopefuls over the past few years, asking for tips on applications and interviews. So I’ve hashed together some of the things I personally think are important when preparing to WOW the interview panels.

I read somewhere a few months ago that it’s now (statistically?) harder to get onto a UK Midwifery course than it is to get into Oxford or Cambridge? Is this actually true?

I remember my own lightbulb moment when I eventually decided to become a Midwife.  I was re-reading the book The Red Tent in my flat in Brixton, absorbed in the beautiful tales of Dinah (the protagonist who becomes a Midwife), thinking, “WOW, being a Midwife really is such a magical job, if only I had done Science A-levels…surely you must need science A-levels to do this right?”

By this point in my life I’d flirted with about 400 different career paths and actually, or nearly, enrolled on degree courses for approximately 1 in 10 of them…but the more I thought about it and the more I read, this one REALLY did feel like my calling (although some friends and family definitely thought it was just another pipe dream or 'phase').

I’d always been interested in, and involved with women’s issues, and done countless women's- related voluntary and paid work.  Looking back, they all followed a certain trajectory that lead towards Birth, but I’d never really joined the dots.

Then came the agonising bit.  By the time I had done a summer work-experience with the Brierley caseload Midwives I was totally and utterly obsessed with becoming a Midwife.   I’d heard it was going to be tough getting a place at Kings, so I spent rather a lot of time constructing spider diagrams of every possible question they could ask me and what my potential responses might be.  I was like MASSIVELY over-prepared, but I wasn’t going to take the risk of having to re-apply and waiting another year to start.

I had read (seemingly) every maternity document ever published, collected old copies of  ‘The Practising Midwife’ dating back to the time of TakeThat, and barely came up for breath from Ina May’s ‘Spiritual Midwifery’ throughout my entire summer holiday in Turkey.  I also quizzed pretty much any Midwife, Doula, antenatal educator or pregnant women who would talk to me.

I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I watched One Born Every Minute, once, and came to the conclusion that it was horrific, and have avoided it like the plague ever since.  I do, however, have a wonderful memory of my good friend Lea Morpurgo coming to my flat and us watching the film ‘Birth into Being,’ where Russian women birth their babies in the Black Sea.  Now THAT is something worth watching.

I recognise, however, that I was incredibly lucky in my gentle and hugely inspiring introduction to the world of Birth; the first dozen ‘real life’ births I saw were all beautiful, uncomplicated homebirths with the Brierley.  My spiritual mum (as I call her), Ingrid Lewis kindly said that this was the universe’s way of welcoming me into the world of birth, but it may well have just been fluke….

In the end I only applied for places at Two Universities: Kings and City.  And I got unconditional offers from both of them. SO I must have done something right…

But enough about ME ME ME.  Here’s a few tips to get you started.  I’m sure some other wise and wonderful Midwives, mothers, and Doulas will add to them for you along the way…

1. Firstly, know how to articulate WHY you want to be a Midwife

You can probably think of a million different reasons, but try to focus, and come up with a few coherent and succinct points.  

Practising this one in front of a mirror is actually worth its weight in gold, not only for the application form/interview, but because once you eventually become a bonafide Midwife you can absolutely guarantee that every party you go to, every friend, friend of a friend, man, woman, beast, vegetable/mineral, that you encounter, is going to ask you this question.  Even other Midwives will ask you!  

So you may as well invest in getting your patter down on this one now.

Be honest, lucid, and most of all be passionate.  There’s nothing more convincing than someone who lights up and beams when they talk about Midwifery.  You might be anxious or nervous, but dig deep and think what truly inspires you to be a Midwife.  Chances are, you have something really wonderful to say, because it’s something truly wonderful that’s inspired you to want to care for, and support other women.

Just don’t say it’s because you LOVE babies.  

2. Show that you genuinely CARE  

This is the one thing that we all know really counts, unwaveringly. It’s the one midwifery skill that will stand the test of time: When it’s 4am and the A&E vending machine is out of diet coke and mars bars, you’ll want to climb into the nearest and birth pool and hide from the world.  But you won’t, because you are totally wedded to the woman you are caring for and you’ll do anything to help her to achieve a positive birth.

This, ultimately, is the most important part of being a Midwife and what shines through in all of the great Midwives I know.  They will run themselves ragged, and put their own needs on the backburner for the women they care for.

All the technical stuff they can teach you; the biology, the practical skills, the clinical research… but true empathy, compassion, and dedication? Well you’ve either got it or you haven’t. 

3. Know your stuff; the big issues

You’re not meant to know everything about Midwifery before you’ve even started the course.  But it’s important to have a basic understanding of the hot topics and key issues in maternity care.

Pivotal guidelines and key publications such as Maternity Matters  and Midwifery 2020 are a good place to start.

It’s also useful to have read one or two things by some of the main movers and shakers in the Midwifery world such as Sheena Byrom, Michele Odent, or Ina May.  You can read more about these recommended books in my blogpost here.

You don't need to be an expert, but having a few of these golden nuggets in your repertoire will make you feel more confident that you’re down with the key debates and have something interesting to say about what’s relevant in maternity now.

Social media sights such as Twitter and Facebook are especially great for keeping up to the minute with the latests Midwifery chat, so find some bloggers/tweeters/facebook group/pages and ride on the back of their links/debates. Job done.

4. Transferable skills/topics: You know more than you think 

Chances are you will have tonnes of life experiences and interests that might not appear to be explicitly linked to Midwifery at first, but they in fact are.

A lot of Midwifery issues are linked to broader feminist and social/political debates, which you may well already have some knowledge or experience of.  For instance, a huge part of midwifery care is the public health aspect of the role: working with, and supporting women with complex social circumstance such as Asylum seeker/refugees, homeless, drug&alcohol dependent women, as well as women who suffer domestic abuse.

If you have any experience of working/volunteering with vulnerable groups such as those with special needs or any of the ‘hard to reach,’ groups mentioned above, this will all be hugely relevant.

‘Soft’ skills and communication skills are equally incredibly important to a Midwive's crucial role in building strong and trusting relationships with women. So too is a propensity for self-awareness and self-reflection; being conscious of the language you use, and the impact you have in your interaction with women and their families is what enables excellent partnerships, and improves birth outcomes and birth experiences for women. 

5. Relax, Breath, and be Confident

The Midwives who will interview you are nice people! They’re not going to be scary or mean because they want to see, and get, the best from you.

They will rightly recognise that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses to bring to the table: There might be some candidates who are incredibly articulate and outspoken, but someone who listens to others is equally, if not more, important.  Knowing when to be silent is a crucial midwifery skills (Im still fine-tuning this one; being naturally one of the articulate but gobby ones!)

If you’ve done your preparation (see steps 1-4!) then you have nothing to be worried about.  Being Calm and Confident now will allow your passion and your motivation to beam through.

The last thing I did on the morning of my interview, before I left the house was some relaxation and meditation excercises.  The memory of this little baby midwife buddah is still vivid! I can literally picture myself sat on my cushions in the corner of my room channelling all of the wonderful people I knew were rooting for me.

After that I actually felt quite excited! Because I knew how well prepared I was and how right this felt for me.  Chanel lots of positivity and you will shine too.

Then come to the Homerton and be my student : )